she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
