YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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