Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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