no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
