The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
