No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I puked a lego.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
