I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
