I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
