Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
