I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
my being single is dangerous.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
