the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
