Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize