i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
