You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
