You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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