I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
