Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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