I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
