I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
