So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Houston, we have a squirter
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
