But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
