just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
