we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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