oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
