You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
