3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
