So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Blood and glitter go together right?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize