why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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