the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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