i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
