please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
