Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
