His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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