He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize