Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
farters have to be the big spoon...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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