you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
