just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
