You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
