whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
