It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
