Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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