Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
