literally had 100 drinks last night.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
