Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize