His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
