Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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