It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
