so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You made out with two different species that night
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
and you fell through a lawn chair
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
