You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
