Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
