how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
