chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
