just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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