If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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