remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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