I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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