I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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