I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Two words: blizzard sex
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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