My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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