I love black thongs
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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