Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
