I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
